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Posted on July 5, 2012 by Hobart Fowlkes

Je m’appelle François.  Je suis Artiste extraordinaire.  ‘Zey say I have talent, but, me, I just put my easel in a place very conspicuous, several brushstrokes, et voila, I meet ze women and sometime i get ‘ze sex.  Is that how you say?  C’est encore plus effective ‘zan it is to walk my precious little Lhasa Apso, “Princesse”, in ‘ze Jardins de Luxembourg a Paris.  Today I am in Venise on the Riva degli Schiavoni.  Many of ‘ze sexy women they stop to talk to me.  I feel que Venise c’est my lucky place, et que cet endroit c’est parfait!  Wish me une bonne chance, s’il vous plait!


Posted on July 2, 2012 by Hobart Fowlkes

I am Carmela.  My face?  I am happy, no?  Forse you cannot recognize my sguardo di total felicity (is that how you say?). Non importa, I am having a very important business today and my family’s entire inheritance is in jeopardy so i go to see the avvocato but the perfect modo per confrontare adversity is to approach with a bello sorriso.  My dress?  Is too chic?  I think maybe my seno might be to old and pesante to go around senza “boob holder.”. Is that how you say “regiseno?”. I don’t care.  Today is important, and I will face it with fortitude.  “In bocca al lupo, Carmela!” dico io a me stesso.   CREPI CREPI, screams my heart, sending positivity into the Universe.  


Posted on June 26, 2012 by Hobart Fowlkes

My name is Winston Wellington Worthington van Cartier Johnson.  Yes that really is my full name on my birth certificate and my passport and every other official government document.  I think my mother thought that my name would somehow shape my future.  She’s just plain old Karen Johnson, but my brothers are Basil Barrymore Johnson and Aloysius Rothschild Van Cleef Arpels Johnson.  I must say that in a way she had a good point.  Our names alone have opened many doors for us.  If anything they’ve draw lots of attention to us.  Mom worked multiple jobs and spoiled us badly while we were growing up, but she made sure we got full scholarships to the best prep-schools on the East Coast: Exeter, St.Paul’s and Groton.  I’m the oldest so I’m supposed to pave the way for my brothers which is a pretty tough burden.  In a way, I feel like my mom considers the three of us like lottery tickets and expects for one of us to eventually pay off the mega-millions jackpot.  We’ll have to see.  I’m home on break from Yale, and I’m heading out to hang with some of my old gang.  I feel myself growing more distant from my old friends, and that makes me kind of sad.  Continue Reading →


Posted on June 12, 2012 by Hobart Fowlkes

Francesca bolts out of her loft on Broadway near Union Square.  Dizzy from a month of dieting on nothing but wheatgrass shots and Cinnamon Lifesavers. Everything goes black for about 2 seconds as the blood rushes out of her brain as she swerves to miss colliding with the giant inflatable rat that the Custodial Services Employees Union had erected in front of her building sometime in the still of the night.  They’re pissed because the building hired some non-union peeps to do something.  Whatever.  She’s late.  It’s the casting at FORD for which she has been waiting an entire month.  She just finished a spread for Vogue, and there was the Victoria’s Secret Catalogue, but fashion week is coming and she needs runway work.  How could she be so late? She shouldn’t have stayed out so late the night before at  Les Bains at The Standard, but the puffiness under her eyes is nothing a little hemorrhoid cream can’t fix. Continue Reading →


Posted on June 9, 2012 by Hobart Fowlkes

See that guy selling pretzels?”

“Who said that?”

“It doesn’t matter.  Listen to me.”

“Where are you?”

“Shut up and listen, this is life and death stuff I got for you here!” Continue Reading →


Posted on June 6, 2012 by Hobart Fowlkes

Hyacinth is speechless.  She stands there in a daze.  It’s a Saturday like any other.  Earlier that morning she texted her fiancé, Hank, to welcome him home from his business trip to Hong Kong, knowing his phone would be on vibrate, but hoping they might get together later.  Hyacinth continued on her merry way browsing the stalls at a street fair in Little Italy, anxiously awaiting the loud “DING” from her iPhone. 

“Was that my phone?” suddenly thought Hyacinth as she was sure she heard the ding come out of her bag.  Yes Yes!!  A Text from Hank,

“Can’t get together today, but I have a really big surprise for you!  A big life changing surprise for you!” Continue Reading →